Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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