Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
