dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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