i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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