After last night, I could never be a politician.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize