Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
