I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize