I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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