I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize