I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
