once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize