Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
