i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
