my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
