The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
