he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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