I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Drake has all the answers
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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