Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
NoShamevember. You game?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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