do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize