Already got asked if we're dating
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
