I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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