TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
