Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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