I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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