ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this hospital has no fireball
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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