Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
