She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
