is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
