I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
