I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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