yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
