My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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