Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
