please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
