I will die if light touches me.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
