watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
