READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
