Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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