Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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