who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
