peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
