Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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