i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
