yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
