he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
