Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
