i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
