I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
