you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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