you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I understand Curling. That high.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
