Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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