I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
