Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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