I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
