hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
