New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
