Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize