Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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