quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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