Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My penis needs a shock collar
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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